Occupation: FANGIRL, unemployed college graduate (but aren't we all)
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❒ TAKEN ❒ SINGLE ✔ WHILE I'M FLATTERED BY YOUR INTEREST, JOHN, I CONSIDER MYSELF MARRIED TO MY TUMBLR.
Here’s the finished product.
I started with the basic design/instructions for this toss pillow project over on thequiltermag.com; but I changed it up a little:
Also, I could not find a 12”x22” pillow form to save my life; hence, no pictures of it actually on something - if anyone knows where I can get one, feel free to message me.
(So far the closest I’ve found is a 12”x20”; I’m thinking it may have to be good enough. Hobby Lobby has a 12”x22”, but I’m not giving them my money.)
The most time-consuming part was cutting the pieces, tbh.
Total time: 3-3.5hrs
(it will probably go quicker for people who don’t have dyslexia; you know that saying “measure twice, cut once” for me its more like measure 4 times and still end up having to start over at least once)
Broke out the sewing machine today to do a really short project, took me about 20min to figure out how to load the damn bobbin (USING the ‘Quick Start’ instructions!) and then I couldn’t figure out how to get my tensions to match… which was the whole reason I got fed up with the damn thing last time I tried to use it.
This is supposed to be one of the easiest models currently available, but it confuses the hell outta me.
I miss the old-school Brothers and Singers we used in home ec., you know the ones - with the drop-in bobbin loading and like three different stitches total.
I suppose this is what product manuals are for.
It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.
How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.
HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.
(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:
- Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
- Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
- We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
- Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.
We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps.
And by god, we will eat anything.
- We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
- We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin.
- We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
- We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
- We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
- Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places.
- We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
- We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them.
- On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us
We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!
On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.
Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.
Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow.
The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.
Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.
We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it.
Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel.
They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”
#an individual human being is actually a microbiome in its own right—you are dealing with a legion each time you approach them #they carry pathological agents inside their deep tissues and this is advantageous to their health #one of the most widespread and resilient viruses on their planet is treated as mildly hazardous—even though it causes #massive disruption to the body’s homeostasis #(their young offspring endure multiple rhinovirus infections EACH YEAR yet they seem unperturbed by this) #they have developed such long lifespans that now their primary threat is their own body’s degeneration #humanity has literally figured out how to survive so long that their body gives out under them #and they are not satisfied with that #stupid willful vengeful survivalists who treat mortality like a challenge
I love every single variation on this post, whenever it scrolls across my dash.
Although bipedal and nominally terrestrial, humans are also capable of highly efficient climbing, brachiation, and swimming without mechanical or technological assistance.
In times of plenty, humans will ingest surplus food and metabolize it into a form of stored nutrition which permeates their tissues and forms a protective, thermally insulating layer under their skin. Even a human with minimal ‘fat’ reserves can go for several Terran days without appreciable food intake.
Humans are highly neuroplastic, and retain the ability to learn throughout their life cycle. Indeed, geriatric humans rely increasingly on the synthesis and application of their accumulated knowledge as their physical condition declines.
The human olfactory system is notoriously insensitive, and scents which may incapacitate other species have no appreciable effect on them.
Humans are effectively psy-null. They possess no psionic abilities of their own, and attempts at one-way psionic contact have resulted in severe trauma to researchers due to the alien structure of human minds.
The human skeleton is composed of a hard, resilient mineral-biological composite. This renders them capable of withstanding heavy loads and impacts, and of delivering devastating blows with all extremities. Although somewhat brittle, the stone-based tissue of human bone retains the ability to heal when injured.
because it is.
I loved this movie as a child.
The narrator though omg, it hurts I’m laughing so hard
I really need new bras (like needed-them-six-months-ago level need), and I find out there’s a place that does extended sizes relatively near by… so of course the muffler tries to divorce itself from my car. Replacing the muffler = no new bras that pay check.
Fix the muffler, tell myself “Next pay check. We are buying bras baby!”.
Dad informs me that I need to have the transmission filter changed on my car so the transmission itself doesn’t blow up or whatever. Taking car in for service = no new bras last pay check.
After all of that I was like, “For serious, we are getting new bras next check.” Then my faithful old iPod Sven bit the dust.
And like, I know I should buy the bras, because I need them… but listening to music at work helps me not stab people in the face when they are being pieces of shit.
So I was debating this decision with myself, and like… I hate trying to make decisions.
Then, I had whole other moment of crisis because ALL MY MUSIC IS IN ITUNES! WHICH MEANS IT ISN’T COMPATIBLE WITH ANY OTHER PLAYERS! And I really don’t have money to blow on apple products…
But then I remembered THE GOOGLE. So I looked that shit up, and YOU CAN CONVERT THAT SHIT TO MP3!
So i was like… okay we can do this… and I DID IT. So, for the moment I’m just gonna load some playlists to my phone and use that for work.
Then I came up with a BRILLIANT PLAN!
I will buy the bras this pay check, and save a little money back. And save a little more each pay check for however long… and then I will get myself a tablet, so I can have my music and a zillion books with me wherever I AM, MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Don’t judge me.
In other being-a-grown-up-is-hard news, did you know that Peter S. Beagle is going to be in Chicago doing a book signing at a theater showing of The Last Unicorn???
I WANT TO GOOOOOOOO!
You don’t understand, this movie was MY LIFE as a child. Then I discovered the book and my MIND WAS BLOWN AGAIN!
But as of right now, they haven’t announced how much tickets will be or if they’ll even do a pre-sale (which is the only way I could possibly go, because its too far to go and just hope there are still tickets left).
Plus I would have to:
Basically: I want to go, but it is not at all a fiscally responsible to go. But want to go.
In conclusion being a grown up is hard, make it stop.
We did a Topic of Interest segment on emotional abuse back in February, and during that, we identified the following signs of emotional abuse. This part of the topic was written by our lovely admin Tess!
Verbal abuse is the use of language to hurt someone, whether it is with conscious or unconscious intent. Verbal abuse is a dysfunctional use of feedback; i.e., it’s “messed up” feedback. Verbal abuse is a form of Emotional Abuse. Emotional abuse uses words to hurt, but sometimes requires meaning derived from the context in which the words were used or pairing with a behavior. Neither the words, nor the context or the behavior alone may be abusive, but the words together with the context or behavior are abusive.
Abusive Expectations: placing unreasonable demands on another person or never being satisfied with the other person or how much the other person has done, regardless of the amount of care and effort put into a task. Instead the abuser complains that something more could be done, offers criticism about how it could have done better, or even berates the other person for not satisfying his or her needs. Constant criticism is the pattern in this type of emotional abuse.
Accusing: to charge with an offense, wrongdoing, error, fault, or mistake. Originally it was only used as a legal term, but being in a verbally abusive relationship can feel a lot like being on trial.
Bigoted remark: a remark that is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and/or is intolerant of those who are different
Blaming: fault finding; holding responsible. Accusing and Blaming are verbally abusive when without basis or when excessive. This include blame shifting: making the abused person believe that the abuse is their fault.
Blocking: an attempt to derail or end a valid conversation prematurely or to avoid a relevant issue. Often blocking is done by unfairly insinuating that the person that s/he is trying to block is being unreasonable or is nagging. An example would be saying, “Get off my back,” in response to a reasonable discussion. A common form of blocking is to go on the offense and become accusatory of the other person.
Bullying: to be habitually cruel or physically aggressive to another person, especially to someone who is physically weaker, younger, shorter, or someone who has less social status; to intimidate. Character assassination is a deliberate attempt or strategy employed to damage or discredit the reputation, status, or achievements of another person; to defame.
Con: win someone’s confidence or trust in order to deceive or cheat them
Condescension: to deal with people in a patronizingly superior manner “talk down to.” The inference is as one would speak to a child, or to a person of less rank or understanding.
Countering: to routinely oppose with words or disagree without fully listening; automatically disagreeing
Criticizing: disparaging remarks, sharp disapproval, “dissing,” words that attack the person rather than address problematic behaviour. To criticize in this sense of the word is not giving feedback as there is no real attempt to provide an accurate assessment or information.
Discounting: invalidation of another person’s thoughts, feelings, opinions, or perceptions. Discounting is often an automatic response without listening first rather than reasoned response after careful listening.
Domination: a pattern of behavior used to control another person. Methods of control include ordering, threats, negative consequences, monitoring, isolating, monopolizing and restricting. Persistently making it unpleasant for the victim to be assertive is a way of using negative consequences to dominate. For example, an abuser may agree to go to a restaurant only to incessantly complain. The abuser wears down the resistance of the victim over time. Abusive men also make use of male privilege and the myth of male superiority to impose their will over women who have been enculturated in the myth. Domination can take many forms. Phone calls, spending, and chores are examples of activities that might be monitored and restricted. An abuser may attempt to isolate the victim by undermining relationships with friends through subtle criticism of the victim, or disagreeableness around friends and family, or character assassination of the victim behind her back, or character assassination of friends and family of the victim to the victim. The abuser may monopolize conversations, decision making, or economic resources. The abuser may criticize every penny the victim spends while lavishly spending on himself. The abuser may guilt trip by employing moral arguments or lofty principles to get his way.
Double Binds: A simple double bind is when the respondent is offered the illusion of a choice of two possibilities, when fulfilling one request/option would make fulfilling the other impossible. An example is when your boss requests that you complete two projects in the time it takes to do one of them. However double binds are usually more complex. They often involve an injunction with a threat (you will pay/suffer if you do or don’t do what I say). Often the threat is implied rather than stated.
Emotional Blackmail: a complex and sometimes highly subtle form of emotional abuse in which the abuser uses F.O.G. – Fear, Obligation, and Guilt tripping – consciously or unconsciously to coerce you to do what s/he wants. Your innermost fears and an unreasonable sense of obligation are manipulated to coerce your compliance. Threats, punishment, withholding, self-harm, self-pitying, hysterics, passive aggressiveness, or the holding out of an eternal carrot stick that never arrives are different forms that emotional blackmail may take. If you are conscientious and somehow you are always labeled the bad guy, you are probably in a relationship with an Emotional Blackmailer. You may be “pathologized” as sick, crazy, or some other label. An Emotional Blackmailer may triangulate others against you and enlist their support or use negative comparisons with other to guilt trip.
Ethnic Slurs: a disrespectful, insulting, belittling, or slighting remark or innuendo directed at another person’s ethnic or national identity
Fake Forgetting: 1. When someone claims s/he forgot when the agreed behavior was not done because it was inconvenient, unpleasant, etc. (a pattern has to be established before you will know someone is faking). 2. When the other person breaks an important promise or forgets an important date and claims that s/he has forgotten even though there was significant discussion. You will probably not get a sincere apology. Fake Forgetting is purposeful.
Gaslighting: a form of emotional abuse that employs a wide variety of verbal abuse types: forgetting, denial, lying, criticism, blocking and diverting. The abuser may make a hurtful remark and then accuse the victim of being too sensitive, unable to take a joke, misperceiving the meaning of the remark, or flat out deny the comment was ever made. Another tactic is to hyper focus or exaggerate or invent shortcomings of the victim, while denying their own shortcomings. The abuser may rage at the victim for not believing the lies and shame the victim for being mistrustful. In short, Gaslighting involves denying the reality of the victim to serve a hidden agenda of the abuser.
Guilt tripping: an attempt to make someone feel guilty for the purpose of getting one’s way; restricting another person’s behavior for selfish reasons; or for instilling doubt and confusion in another person to keep him/her submissive. Healing involves recognizing that it has nothing to do with the principle of the issue and everything to do with the security, pleasure, prestige or power the abuser feels in dominating the victim or getting his way. The moral arguments or lofty principles employed in guilt tripping can sound very convincing and valid. You will need to notice whether the rationale is used to get his/her way; are impractical or inconvenient for you; or whether the abuser is ever satisfied. A big clue is when you go along with his desire and he still criticizes you or you do it right a dozen times, but are criticized, often harshly, for the one time you don’t (even when the real life consequences for not doing the task are minor). Abusers are masters at manipulating a tender conscience. However, the conscientious person will have great difficulty getting an abuser to admit to any wrong doing.
Innuendoes and Insinuations: An innuendo is an indirect or subtle comment, usually having derogatory implication. Innuendoes and insinuations are synonyms. Sometimes insinuations are meant to confuse in order to disguise true intent (often harmful or manipulative), and as such are a wily form of diverting. Ambivalent compliments are a type of this kind of insinuation.
Judging: condemning, denouncing, or appraising a person’s character in a rejecting manner. Judging in this sense is to be unfair.
Lying: effectively blocks the goals of assertive communication: informing, cooperating, equitable problem solving, understanding and intimacy. It also creates an uneven playing field if the other person believes the lies and remains open, and thus vulnerable to exploitation. White lies are not included, unless the lies become hurtful.
Name calling or Labelling: Name calling is what most people think of as verbal abuse and includes swearing at someone. It is using a word in a way that is derogatory. Labeling is the use of psychological jargon to negatively describe the other person rather than identifying the problematic behavior.
Ordering: telling another person what to do as opposed to asking them politely. Expecting another person to always do what you want them to do when you want them to do it is also ordering.
Sexism: discrimination based on the sex of a person; the belief that one sex is superior to another sex; attitudes, conditions, and behavior that reinforce stereotypes of male and female talents, characteristics, and roles; abusive behavior based on gender. Sexism is a set of attitudes and beliefs that result in a pattern of abuses, including emotional abuse aimed at gender.
Tone of Voice: loud, sarcastic, condescending, hissing, phony inflection, yelling, screaming, and the disappointed sigh
Trivializing: referring another person’s accomplishment, opinion, experience, or feeling in a way that diminishes its significance.
Undermining: a comment aimed at weakening, discouraging, or halting another person’s interest, enthusiasm or good spirits.
Unpredictable Responses: In this abusive pattern, there are severe mood swings, inconsistent responses to the same situation, sudden emotional outbursts that have no reasonable explanation, stark inconsistency in preferences, saying one thing one day and reversing themselves the next. This pattern of behavior is common in people with bipolar disorder, addicts (including alcoholics), and BPD. It is highly stressful to live with or work for with someone with these issues and is described as feeling like Walking on Eggshells.
Withholding: the refusal to share of oneself in an intimate relationship in an appropriate way. Withholding includes the silent treatment, failure to disclose intimations that might deepen the relationship, withholding relevant information, and refusing or withholding normal affections as a way to punish, demean or otherwise hurt the other person. This is different from refraining from sex until one has resolved one’s anger, having the right to private thoughts and feelings, and having the right to say no to sex and other forms of affection. There is a pattern of withholding used as a way to hurt the other person.
The above signs do not all have to be present in an emotionally abusive situation. This is just an extensive list of possible behaviours that may be seen if your friend/partner/family member is emotionally abusive.
More information on emotional abuse can be found here. This page also has signs of an emotionally abusive relationship, suggestions on what to do if you’re in an abusive situation, and some resources with with you can find out more about emotional abuse.
I hope this helped! And big thanks to Tess for the detailed list!
enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes